Part I: Cauliflower, Elephants, and Stage Names

Everyone remembers the moment they realized their life could go in a very different direction. For me, it began during a casual conversation with an acquaintance of mine. She was a flight attendant, often having overnight layovers in Dubai. She told me about her recent layover, “I landed, showered, met him at the Burj, went shopping the next day, flew home with two new handbags and a suitcase full of cash.”

She said it the way someone might talk about dropping off their dry cleaning, as if this lifestyle was simply an option. I eyed her beautiful new Chanel handbag, though that’s not what enticed me.

As I listened, I wondered whether there was a way to combine my love for physical intimacy with something slightly more practical, like buying weekly groceries for my cats and me, while also paying off student debt.

The following week, I was browsing a bookstore when I stumbled upon a book of real-life experiences from a call girl. Intrigued, I read it in one sitting, put it down, and immediately Googled “High-end companion agencies near me.” Before I could think twice, I emailed every single one in my city, shut my laptop, and went to bed, fully expecting to not hear back from any of them.

The next morning, I received an email from Tammy with a time to meet for an interview that Thursday. I was elated.

I smelled coffee in the air as I walked into the office building. Her email instructed me to check in at the front desk before waiting in the lobby. It was a few minutes past 2 p.m., when Tammy was expecting me, so I used the time to look over my résumé. I read over my skills proudly, feeling more ready than ever for my interview.

Her assistant, Jeremy, popped into the waiting room, all smiles and small talk, and led me to Tammy’s office. He swung the door open, and she spun around in her chair to face us. The first thing I noticed was how glamorous she was. She had voluminous red hair and a plunging neckline that I stared at for far too long. I cleared my throat and set my folder on her desk in front of her, almost like an offering. She fluttered her long lashes at me and motioned for me to sit as Jeremy left the room.

“What’s this?” she asked, eyeing it.

I was excited, breathless, and launched into my rehearsed pitch. “I just graduated! Look, I’ve listed my parents as my references! I worked for my aunt’s dental office throughout university, so…” I stopped myself and pointed. “I’ve also listed her as a reference here. You can call her to verify my work experience!!”

She nodded, her eyes now on her computer screen, then asked dryly, “Preferred name?” as she started typing.

I beamed and tapped on my résumé. “My name’s right here!”

She stared at me for a moment and squinted. “No, honey… your model name.”

I frowned. She looked perplexed and slightly annoyed. “You know… your provider name? So, what is it?”

I wasn’t sure I understood.

She tried again, “A stage name. Honey, what’s your stage name?”

I blinked. didn’t know I had to have one prepared.

She let out a sigh, stood up, walked to the whiteboard on the wall, grabbed a marker, and began helping me through the process of picking a name. She asked if I had any ideas.

Meanwhile, I was fixated on the fact that she hadn’t even opened my résumé yet. I had always been praised for my customer service skills at the dental office. I wanted Tammy to know that. The patients would always bring me gifts - there was even one patient who came in every month with a homemade cheesecake just for me.

She snapped her fingers, pulling me out of my thoughts, and pointed to the whiteboard.

I said, “Oh… well… I did this stripper name quiz online once. You know, your pet’s name plus the first street you lived on as a kid? So… that would be Papillon Ash! I can go by that, right?!”

As a kid, I had a dog named Papillon, which means butterfly in French. I thought it was cute. I smiled because I was certain Tammy would approve.

Her jaw dropped. “Whaaat?”

She shook her head and told me that was a poor suggestion. She was likely questioning every decision that had led her to call me in for an interview that day. I admired her figure as she stood in front of me, helping me come up with a stage name. After we finally landed on a name, she handed me a stapled packet to fill out while she typed up my new profile. I flipped through it and started filling out the likes and dislikes page. I wrote down “cauliflower” under dislikes and “elephants” under likes.

I filled out the rest and handed it back to her. She read silently, then sighed. “Honey… no, no, no. I need to know your physical likes and dislikes, like in the bedroom. I am not asking for your food or animal preferences. You know… a ‘dislike’ could be poor hygiene, and a ‘like’ could be generosity.”

She called for Jeremy to come into the room to tell him what I had written. After laughing, he admitted that some clients might actually appreciate it as a refreshing change from the usual answers. She sighed again and told me she would leave “cauliflower and elephants” in my profile as a placeholder until I got back to her with the correct answers.

Tammy then asked for photos. I scrolled through my camera roll and showed her family vacation pictures, you know, me in a bikini, with my family waving in the background. I asked if those would work.

Again, she looked annoyed. She started to say something, frowned, then shook her head and uploaded the photos anyway. She said they would suffice until I could schedule a photoshoot with her photographer. She asked if I wanted her to blur my face, and I wondered why I had to, as it is what I am complimented on the most, but I complied (phew, thank goodness for that).

The interview ended shortly after. She called Jeremy to lead me out, glancing up from her screen just long enough to say, “I’ll be in touch.”

“Wait, when will I know if I’m hired?” I blurted out as I stood up to leave.

She blinked slowly. “Uh… hired? You were hired from the moment you walked in, and I saw you. I mean, look at you. My clients will love you. Wanna start tomorrow?”

I had so many questions. “Oh, uh, thank you! Wait… what do I wear?”

She looked me up and down (I was wearing a simple, business-casual suit) and shrugged. “That’ll do.”

I was confused by her answer. I had thought I would have to wear a tight mini dress and stilettos - maybe that was just in the movies though. I started to walk out when she stopped me, took my body measurements with her eyes, noted them, then waved me away and went back to typing. Jeremy grabbed my arm mid-question and whispered, “Just be confident and don’t act new.”

With my résumé still on her desk, the office door closed, and another door to a new world had just opened. A mischievous flutter ran through me, and I blushed.

To be continued in Part II…